The Thing is...

if human history was a pencil, the time we haven't been mostly hunter-gatherers would be the eraser. That eraser hasn't erased nearly all it likes to think. The pencil bit still writes the story, and we can start following it again. The tools are now appearing for modern living in harmony with ancient human values. Equipment making manufacture in the home competitive with factories. Internet markets that level the playing field. Ways to build a home yourself quite cheaply. Ways to grow very healthy food in a small space, enough to provide a basic diet. Ways to generate your energy needs on your own property cheaply, including heating and cooling.

End result: Your time is your own. Real freedom. You acquire a sense of peace and confidence that makes you a better person. The world's problems become solvable. The awkward adolescence of the human race ends.

This used to be a statement about the theme of this blog on the sidebar. After a bout of insomnia, which hopefully this time has turned out to be productive, in a way, i decided to remove it. I've been trying to be something i'm not, insomnia-mind said, and it felt true. So i've gotten up, now that my husband is up and me moving around thus isn't waking him, and i'm making changes to the blog setup so it is just a general thoughts blog. There was a subtitle:  Producing what you need mostly yourself > gaining a wide open mind > enjoying being you. I removed that too. It's a nice idea pretty central too my general attitude, but still too limiting. I have this whole chronic fatigue thing happening in my life, and i'm thinking (still in semi-insomnia mode) that always trying to be productive according to the model i grew up with has been subtly contributing to that problem. Going against my own deeper grain saps my motivation, makes life feel a little gray. It robs me of my ability to tap all my resources, meaning i run out of them sooner and just feel tired and foggy. So in an attempt to right that, i'm just going to explore for a while and let the blog shape itself. I expect it will of itself acquire a form after a while, however amorphous and difficult to define. I always wanted to be an artist, you see. It's a natural fit for me, but my overlaid sense of practicality has been quite contrarian. Even now that i have reached a situation where i have great freedom to spend my time in pursuit of whatever project i wish, it harrumphs about things that don't have an easily definable social value, aren't sufficiently academic, and especially, which will make no money.

Therefore i must let things grow naturally for a while, let my innate mental ecosystem reassert itself. Once it has refilled all its niches and cycles, i can begin to groom it to maximize its lushness - 'i' being the organizing entity that is the ego, and the mental ecosystem being all which is always bubbling up in me in such a distracting and confounding way, since my ego has been farming up til now, not stewarding. That exhausts the soil. This will be a better way, and  very much like what i've been going on about in the previous posts, but encompassing me, not simply projecting a narrow plan.